Hi there. First of all, i feel kinda bad at giving advice there, because I’m not some kind of a psychology/psychiatry/lifestyle/… professional, and also I don’t know you or whether your current point of life (or whatever you perceive as this point) is a part of a downwards trend, or you just feel particularly shitty today. But anyway:

1. stop the suicide shit right now. you meed to sort things out, and stopping existing is not the way (because you won’t really solve anything like that, right?
2. Career: there is no reason to pursue it if you don’t feel like it. What for? Who cares? If your job is there just so you could support yourself, then think of the alternatives, including radical shit like joining a nonprofit where you will be fed and lodged? Sounds stupid? Ok, maybe it is, I just mean there are hundreds ways to live and support yourself, including that, and also moving to Albania and becoming a hike guide. Who the fuck cares? Experiment!
3. “fucked up loser” - who the fuck is measuring fuckupness and loserness? Loser to whom? Fucked up how? This is all highly relative even if you think life is some kind of a game where you can win or lose. Aaaand it isn’t. Nobody gives a fuck, there is no fate, no winners, no losers, you just have fun as long as you stay that weird limp of cells that is able to function as a single organism. Do that, walk around and stuff.
4. “People are nicer to homeless people…” - firstly homeless peole are just the same people as you, it’s nust in addition to any problems you have they don’t have homes. Secondly, "People* are not some hive that judges you. Again, nobody gives a fuck, people just live, do some stuff, and nobody is really spending their time tracking your success levels
5. DM me, we can talk