The increasing use of apps to connect your white goods and home appliances to wifi or bluetooth.
I just read about this on [email protected] but the post was deleted after a few minutes.
so I thought it might be of interests here, plus I’m old, hardly slept last night and I’m bored.
Here’s my take on it.
When I type:
nmcli dev wifi
Into my terminal I see lots of people using wifi for their not very smart white goods and appliances.
when I type these:
sudo hcitool -i hci0 lescan
sudo hcitool scan
sudo bluetoothctl --timeout 10 scan on
Into my terminal I see lots of people using bluetooth for their not very smart white goods and appliances.
The most recent addition is a delonghi vertuo espresso machine, masquerading as; ESSID venus-“macaddress”.
Epresso machines. washing machines, fridges, freezers, TV’s, who the fuck connects that shit to the internet.
Have we really forgotten how to press a buttons, twiddle a knob and actually think.
or forgotten how to operate a bialetti moka pot. Yay!
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I want one of these though! Its my invention.
I want a smart arse toilet that notifies me if anyone has left a floater, left a huge skid mark down the side of the pan or pissed on the toilet seat.
To use my smart arse toilet. I would force the users to download the app, login in via wifi with their email and phone number.
It could then take a photo of any delinquent who disrespected my smart arse toilet and send it to the culprit, with a warning that the photo will be uploaded to social media with their name and contact details.
And a further email with my bitcoin address so they can easily send me some blackmail money.
Now that is what I call a smart arse!
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Addendum;
Are these wifi and bluetooth connected devices safe?
As a punishment for not thinking and having no concern for the environment, I’ve decided I am going to de-auth the espresso machine for a few days, so they cant have coffee before work. that will teach them.
Do they not realise that buy buying this shit, they are making the company more money to make even more of this shit.
maybe they will reconsider and dust off their old moka pot, faithfully waiting in the cupboard to be used again.
Kind feedback, with a hint of humour would be much appreciated
I used to work on making those types of devices. There’s one good reason to connect them to the internet, and that is to report the health of the device and automatically call up maintenance if things go wonky. But nobody does that. Instead, they all snag user interaction data and send it off to the magical cloud without knowing why. Or to upsell you consumables like water filters and detergents.
One other reason to have them connected is to send push notifications when something needs attention. Like when the power to the chest freezer in the basement has gone off and the human body parts are starting to leak.
I want to see an episode of Dexter. With him monitoring an app that tells him if the body parts he has stored in the freezer, to dispose of later, is defrosting and starting to stink.
Just get some of these
LOL!
They are sold out man.
still doesn’t beat my smart arse toilet.