Not being kind to people in the service industry.
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unimpactful
I take “unimpactful” here as being oblivious are aloof to others. You don’t have to be an asshole to treat someone poorly. That just requires not thinking of anyone but yourself, which is done by assholes, but can also be less severe and merely lacking compassion for someone because they’re here to do a job and not a person.
When somebody manages to actively be an asshole to random strangers they just met it’s actually kind of spectacular. Usually people can mask up at least a bit in public.
lack of curiosity
That’s a big one. Also lack of hobbies or passions.
This is exactly what tanked a potential relationship for me a few years ago.
Do people really do that? I just kind of meet people and whatever happens happens.
Right?
Being “vetted” by them…
Maybe you don’t like the wording, but everyone does this. Unless you know if someone will be a close friend the moment you lay eyes on them, or are friends with literally everyone you’ve spent time with.
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Then it’s unconscious. Hopefully the criteria are ones you’d agree with if they were conscious.
For real this seems like a major red flag.
- Belief in nonsense, such as astrology
- Celebrity worship
- Excessive social media usage, especially Twitter
you’re on lemmy
What about excessive lemmy usage?
That would be really weird. There’s not enough content for excessive Lemmy usage.
You can get into long settings on any social media site
That they vetted me
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- Serious belief in pseudosciences
- Conspiracy theorist
- Right-wing ideology
- Sex prude
If they are cheap/stingy but when someone else is paying they get the more expensive things. If someone is consistently frugal in all situations I don’t mind.
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You’re right, if someone was expensing it on a work account it would make sense to maximize your order within budget. What I mean by someone else is any situation outside of that.
Who are these people who have so many choices in friends that they can afford to vet them?
Its not so much having friends to vet them.
its meeting new people that seem, for all intents and purposes, cool and mellow people.
Then you make the mistake of sending them an off-platform friend request and are quickly brought to realization that the only thing keeping them cool and mellow was the platforms rules and reporting.
I got duped like that once in a game, Kept running into eachother and playing together, so sent them an out of game friend request… Immediately received a massive tirade about what they really thought about trans people, and gays, and other various topics. 100% unprompted, and out of the blue 0-100 in .00237 second.
The only reason I didnt immediately block them was because I was too stupified and took me a solid minute to gather myself. Ended up having to block them in game, too… Which I think resulted in them being banned, since they sent me a huge message in game about i must be one of those liberal trans homosexuals since i blocked him after his “truth” or whatever bullshit. Reported his ass, and never saw him again.
Crazy is super good at concealing itself, until it thinks you are a compatriot.
Someone who identifies very closely with hustle & grind culture. Someone who claims a personal brand. Someone who kisses up and kicks down.
Inability to follow instructions. Lack of problem solving skills. No common sense.
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Anyone who dislikes animals.
Doesn’t speak a language I know.
You’re only friends with people who can speak the same multiple languages or someone who speaks the only language you know?
“A” language, not “all” languages. The point being I can’t see how to become close friends without being able to talk to them.
Exactly which is why I asked for clarification. Your wording can be read as “I speak English and French but this guy speaks English and Spanish so I won’t get to know them because they don’t know a language that I do”
That would be silly 🙃
Refusing to participate in a civil discussion, but instead resorting to ad hominem (attacking the person not the argument) or refusing to consider the other sides argument. If they do this any minor dispute will escalate to a flame war.
You probably got machine-corrected, that’s ad hominem. But yes, not being able to handle an argument healthily is a big handicap in life
Thanks!
How they treat people who disagree with them politically. If they immediately hate/cut off people for political disagreements, we’re not going to be friends any deeper than surface level.
Depends on the disagreement… if the topic under discussion is as inflammatory as abortion or trans rights, I’m sure you can understand why some folks can’t agree to disagree.
Not agreeing to disagree isn’t the same as cutting someone off from your life, even for those issues. There are multiple issues within those issues that are extreme. For example, I’m pro-choice, but the cutoff for me is probably around the 24 week mark. Pushing for more than that, to me, is extreme, unless we’re talking outlier situations, which would go on a case-by-case basis.
Based on that, many people who are extreme in their belief would certainly cut me out of their life for not supporting late-term abortion.
This all-or-nothing approach is just irrational. It’s not a good match friendship-wise.
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Eh it depends on how wrong they are. Perpetuating hate speech? I’m going to cut you off and tell you that you are wrong. Actual politics though, I’ll have a conversation.
