i can’t stand megathreads – no one reads these! no one wants their posts banished there!

  • intensely_human@lemm.ee
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    1 year ago

    What you label as irrational fear, I label as rational fear.

    The difference is that I acknowledge that the thing I fear is possible, and likely enough to matter; you believe that it is impossible because it’s not happened to you.

    I wanted to label people who talked about danger as crazy too. It was easier than acknowledging the danger. Then the danger manifested, and I could no longer avoid the awareness of it.

    Just like teenagers speed around in cars, “knowing” that it’s dangerous but never really grokking it unless they kill a pedestrian or something, people have an ability to just … not connect the dots about the fact that a person bigger than you can literally hold you down and keep hitting you until you die.

    99.99% of the time you drive recklessly, you don’t kill anyone. Then one day you kill a pedestrian and it’s suddenly real, in a way you were in denial about before.

    99.99% of the time the person in front of you isn’t gonna kill you. But it only takes ONE person out of the hundreds of thousands you meet, to take decades off your life on a whim.

    But if you have the ability to just say “that’s crazy” to that, you will. I would have too, before reality broke my lucky streak and forced me to consider the other category of experience.

    • SCB@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      Buddy I have most assuredly lost fights before.

      And yes, I bet on the 99.99% all the time. as you so notably mentioned about cars, they’re far riskier than just about any fight you’d ever realistically get in.

      I’ve been in multiple car accidents as well. I still drive cars L.

      • intensely_human@lemm.ee
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        1 year ago

        And I still go out my front door and walk amongst strangers bigger than me.

        The question is do you wear your seatbelt.

        Also have you ever been jumped? Ie did you ever get into a fight with a stranger with no squaring up or indication a fight was about to start? Have you ever lost one of those?

        Because I’ve lost fights too. Never bothered me in the slightest. But a fight I didn’t choose, that’s a whole new thing.

        • SCB@lemmy.world
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          1 year ago

          Yes I was bullied til I had my big growth spurt when I hit college. I have most definitely been jumped

          • intensely_human@lemm.ee
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            1 year ago

            How did you survive it? In my case two other strangers were there to pull him away. Otherwise I would have been dead or a vegetable. All I could think in that moment while he kicked my head repeatedly was that I was gonna end up in the brain trauma ward I had worked in. I’d seen those guys recovering and it was horrible.

            Did your attacker just rough you up a little then stop? Did someone else save you?

            • SCB@lemmy.world
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              1 year ago

              Depends on which fight you’re talking about. All of the above for me, including people pulling someone off. I’ve also been the guy pulled off a downed person.

              Most people won’t be trying to kill you. Anger vents quickly

              • intensely_human@lemm.ee
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                1 year ago

                So if you have been in a situation where a stranger jumped you, and you would have died if not for the chance intervention of some strangers, how in the world are you okay with just letting that happen next time it happens? What if next time there’s no one to save you? Your plan is to just let your life end there?

                • SCB@lemmy.world
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                  1 year ago

                  I do not believe it is likely enough to happen that I feel the need to defend myself with a weapon at all times.

                  My life isn’t ruled by fear. This is my original point here.

                  • intensely_human@lemm.ee
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                    1 year ago

                    My life isn’t ruled by fear either. Perhaps for you, carrying a weapon would be accompanied by fear. For me it’s not.