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Cake day: February 15th, 2024

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  • There are so many. Some highlights though:

    • There’s a salary cap of $6.5M, which is actually more “League One” than Championship, but there are loopholes to exploit (Beckham rule and its offspring most prominent among them), and MLS is full of Americans and Western Hemisphere players who are good but would never get UK work permits so their wages are a bit depressed compared to second and third tier British players.
    • Maximum senior roster of 30 players, of which 10 are (nominally) supposed to be on the equivalent of 1800 pounds/week. Exceptions here as well, but in broad strokes the bottom of the roster is WAAAY cheaper than even the middle.
    • Several of them are supposed to be 24 or younger, further limiting the pool.
    • There is an internal market to trade them around, but teams can only have an average of 8 non-domestic players. Rules slightly vary for the US teams versus Canadian.
    • The league is legally one business, and holds all contracts. The “owners” are investors in the league who have a contractual agreement to manage a team. It happens much less often than it used to, but you occasionally see things that appear to be league office meddling in player movement.


  • The NFL team would be miserable and probably have soft-tissue injuries, and eventually would not be able to stop the soccer players from navigating around them like cones, assuming they ever could. Assuming the soccer players could learn the byzantine rulebook in a reasonable timeframe, they would be instantly broken into little pieces and do nothing of note. No one would enjoy either contest, and we would learn nothing.

    As for why they didn’t catch on, first I’m not so sure they didn’t, as tennis in particular has always had its place in the American culture, though its association with the “country club” class may have limited its ceiling. American soccer has its issues, and it is not pressuring the “traditional” American team sports, but attendances are healthy, sponsorships are good, and quality of play is decent, with a starting 11 being roughly comparable to the bottom half of the English second division. Roster rules would mean an MLS club would quickly get ground into dirt in that English second division, but matchday 1 might be pretty competitive. Taking your question more generously, though, competition from baseball, followed by organizational disarray, followed by competition from college gridiron football, followed by competition from professional gridiron football, accompanied by the “not invented here” syndrome, left it seen as a sport for immigrants and then as a safe yet cheap option for suburban children. Meanwhile ice hockey and basketball were also carving out their markets.

    Televised World Cups and Pele started to erode that some, but more organizational disarray left the country without a proper professional league from 1984 until 1995, and when it was restarted it was intentionally done in a manner to control costs and favor management, which it ironically was able to do because it could always argue the players could seek employment in other countries.






  • A couple of years ago, I was applying for a work visa, and they needed my college transcripts. Despite matriculating in 19somethingsomethingoldold, my class was one of the first to use an online system that was able to be migrated into multiple subsequent generations of registrar systems, so they needed to have my school email ID, which I hadn’t thought about eleventymilliongetoffmylawn years, so THAT meant placing a call to campus IT, and providing enough personal information for them to look it up.

    And that, my online friends, is when you are forced to viscerally confront that you were a deeply cringe knowitall who spent way too much time thinking your personality flaws were edgy superpowers and that knowing the name of a random reference in a Bertrand Russell book you barely understood proved how smart you were.




  • Patrick Stewart was also deeply involved in the creative decisions on Picard seasons 1 and 2. He got to the point where he just wanted to do what he wanted to do, and since he is Jean-Luc Picard, what he wants is ipso facto the right choice:

    “What I’d like to see at the end of the show,” I told them, “is a content Jean-Luc. I want to see Picard perfectly at ease with his situation. Not anxious, not in a frenzy, not depressed. And I think this means that there is a wife in the picture.” You see, the line between Jean-Luc and me has grown ever more blurred. If I have found true love, shouldn’t he?

    Sometimes you do not want your actor actually in charge of their iconic character, and genuine embrace of it can manage to make it worse if they’re not writers. I will do my occasional hornet’s-nest kicking and say that Mark Hamill’s take on Luke Skywalker after filming The Last Jedi was similarly myopic, but in a direction that more fans at least think they wanted, and since we’ll never see his choices play out he still gets the benefit of the doubt.





  • Like, she was cool with the slaughter of sand people, sorta.

    I mean, that’s kinda enough… 😬

    “I killed them all. They’re dead. Every single one of them. And not just the men… but the women… and the children too.” Followed immediately by “To be angry is to be human” and a few scenes later by “I truly… deeply love you… and before we die, I want you to know.”

    If the meme fits, wear it, Ms Padme…