manager here. I’m just a jerry. I kept crawling, and it kept working. I don’t like it any more than you.

Yes… the jraphical interchange format file extension has no proper pronunciation so we all get pronunciation participation trophies.

You think you’re… you’re BETTER than me?! Huh?!

I prefer shrooms

They stay inside drinking milk and painting the walls brown while being a closet drunk who hides their liquor in the toilet tank, obviously.

Dollars per hour divided by total copies sold. Eventually, it’s free.

I like your wishlist! The fact nobody mentions that the devil still lives among us is sad. I hope he gets accidentally castrated by a dull knife in times square during the live NYE broadcast.

So, like, the left lip is a new basketball shoe, and the right one is a freshly waxed basketball court? That kind of squeak?

Does it leave a black mark in her panties when she walks?

Lewiston Maine. The (formerly) safest state in the union.

Dudes Twitter likes were Trump Jr, tucker Carlson and all kinds of other MAGAt fodder. Also one of two retweets mentioned mass murder.

This motherfucker is slowly making his way toward my home and children. Last sighting is 35 min away or so.

I don’t have a gun and I regret that choice right now. I wouldn’t wish this feeling of helplessness and terror on anyone.

This is always a mental health issue at its core.

Humor me and pick up a copy of Susan Faludis book “stiffed”

This is the 90s all over again. Fuck.

As someone who came of age in the 80s/90s, that’s not true. I can’t describe the pre and early internet-as-we-know-it days, but they hit different. No anxieties over being always-reachable basically.

Ukraine has taught a lot of evil decision makers exactly what will be tolerated. The future is one of zero nuanced opinion. Scary shit.

Shitty time to have dusted off plants vs zombies. Guess me and crazy Dave are buds now. If you need me, I’ll be rummaging through the kitchen cabinets looking for a helmet!

Perfectly balanced hard drive platters, as it should be.

The smart ones off themselves by age 5!

That’s not true but okay. It would take quite the consisten circle of asymptomatic contacts for what you said to be remotely true.

I’m an oily mofo. 2 a day minimum. I love my shower time!

Yeah. It’s two in the pink and one in the turbine.

The cumbox

…like peanut butter in the carpet