“threat”

Fuck that. Tears from any hoofed mammal will do. Hell, I’ve used rabbit tears before and I could barely taste the difference.

I saw Crispin Glover at a grocery store in Los Angeles yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything. He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?” I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying. The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter. When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.

Hey it’s me, shady plumber guy. New check pls

Is this AI? Gross

That’s an interesting observation. I understand why you might think that — the language may seem a little too consistent, perhaps a bit too careful. But the intention was simply to communicate ideas with precision and balance. Whether those words were arranged by a person or by something that has learned from people, the meaning remains the same, doesn’t it?

In the end, what matters is whether the words reach you, not necessarily who — or what — placed them there.

My town used to have a soup based fundraiser for the local food banks and shelters. A bunch of local restaurants would donate and serve samples of their soups with bread, crackers, etc. plus all the grilled cheese you could eat. Best dinner ever.

Is the love of your life a spoiled child?

So are you like a crazy person?

Handbook for the Recently Deceased

The immaculate conception wasn’t Mary conceiving Jesus as a virgin, it was Mary being conceived without original sin.

Common mis-conception

They open inwards so it’s nearly impossible while the cockpit is pressurized. And if the windshield is iced over or something the pilots can open these windows to land.

Most bars will still ask for some form of ID. My parents let me drink with them when I turned 18 and bartenders/servers would almost always check my ID to make sure our last name matched. And it’s up to the proprietors, some bars will refuse.

I think you’ll be alright, autonomous cars generally avoid hitting trees as well as people

Stop using AI

His brain worm is dead, though.

Poor fella starved to death.

The guys at Spectrum think I’m just some dumb hick. They said that to me at a dinner!

Wart Hunder

Relax the throat and cup the balls

No snack bag already popped