The guys at Spectrum think I’m just some dumb hick. They said that to me at a dinner!

Wart Hunder

Relax the throat and cup the balls

No snack bag already popped

Corn is a fruit in the same way that oxygen is a metal

I peaked like 10 years ago when I hooked up with a gorgeous redhead friend

This is a close second though

Por que no los dos

No carnies are my number two fear

Yes I am necornmancer

Ten seconds of signaling is insane. If you have the room, put on the blinker, change lanes safely, then turn it off.

That’s nearly a quarter mile at freeway speed and more than an average block in the city. You might as well just keep it on the entire time you’re driving since nobody will know what you’re signaling.

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I wish Smell-O-Vision had taken off. Smelling gunpowder during shootouts, food that’s being cooked on-screen, cum and pussy and ass during love scenes, diesel fumes in a subway.

It would probably still be way too expensive and complicated to be feasible but I won’t stop dreaming

What? .42% BAC = 4.2% promille, over five times the legal limit and potentially fatal.

You need a good private tracker

Feeble? But I think you meant futile? Idk.

That’s absolutely not true. It’s a clever backronym, but not the origin of the term.

The Pentagon Pizza Report is off the charts right now. The nearest Domino’s is super busy and the local gay bar is empty.

Major shit is going down tonight

You could do crawfish, they’re just tiny little lobsters

Toads are frogs

meow