Monkeytennis

I got deeply into this (genre?) when I burned out on a combination of playing big/tough games and the stresses of life. I also enjoyed the pace of Outer Wilds and Subnautica. Some other favourites:

• Supraland 1/2 (low combat, light hearted metroidvania, I loved it)
• Psychonauts 2 (amazing adventure game, big but not hard. I loved collecting everything, it was a great balance)
• Tinykin (similar adventure, a bit like Pikmin, which is also great. Lots of chilled collecting)
• Spiritfarer (lots of freedom, loose plot, not overwhelming)
• Breath of the Wild (do what you want, very nice discovery elements)
• TOEM, A Short Hike, GRIS and Cocoon (light adventure / puzzle games, peaceful but could be boring if you want action)
• Yokus Island Express (lovely metroidvania, chilled gameplay, not overwhelming)
• It Takes two (humour, light combat - played with my young son)
• Unravel 1/2 (easy-ish puzzles)
• Weirdly, I found Sniper Elite 4/5 fairly chill, lots of scoping out areas
• Overcooked 2 (zero stress if you play practice mode a ton before attempting a level. I found it a very zen/flow game)
• Peggle 1/2 (can be frustrating, but is very low stakes and arcadey. Lovely for short sessions)
• Wilmots Warehouse (can be stressful if you take the timer seriously, but I loved all the organising. Very satisfying)
• Vampire Survivors (can get a bit much, but pretty simple and disposable)

There are tons more, I deal with a lot of anxiety!

Some games I was recommended for this purpose that didn’t land for me:

• Powerwash sim / other simulators (these feel like a second job for me. Constant grind and focus on perfection wasn’t helpful)
• Tetris Evolution / Lumines (either gets too fast / hard, or gets boring)
• Stardew / Terraria (in theory these look great, but I find huge sandboxes too overwhelming. Always feels like I should be doing more stuff / doing it better)
• Roguelikes (I like Hades, Dead Cells, etc, but they’re very stressful and frustrating when so much hinges on survival)

Finally, I’d suggest trying a solo board game. More tactile and relaxing alternative to screen time.

I agree with your last bit, and I know plenty of people who are clearly manipulated by their news feeds and targeted advertising, but I’m not one of them. I don’t use ad blockers because it’s a valid revenue mechanism - I have friends who pay their bills through advertising. But I’m blind to them, I’ve never clicked on an advert and actively avoid suggestions.

I’m worried about the societal consequence, but doesn’t that issue need to be addressed by engaging in the politics, not by me using Google less? Data harvesting is unavoidable without huge inconvenience, and life is hard enough.

I feel the same way about climate change - I can reduce, reuse and recycle all I want, but I see my neighbours driving and flying everywhere and filling their bins every week, I probably sacrifice to make zero difference.

However long it would take me to find a tank of nitrogen to strap to my face for happy sleep time.

My post apocalypse strategy - and the only way to avoid prolonged suffering - is suicide on day 1.

Turns out that’s not a good dinner party answer.

Coddling has the negative connotation - to consistently overprotect. Occasional spoiling is an entirely different and good thing.

You missed my point. I’m ignoring nothing, I’m suggesting OP seek out men who will be supportive, because they’re not hard to find.

I’m certain I could find studies as proof, but don’t we all already know this to be true?

Plenty of men can deal with this, and plenty of women can’t. It’s not helpful to see this as a gender thing, you’ll only feel more alienated. You might want to seek out some new social connections?

I’ve been though divorce recently and despite being very amicable, it’s caused me to reset - some things broke, but being more emotionally open has been one of the good things. I’m still pretty reserved but a few things are different:

• I care a lot less about conforming to “ideals” or how anyone judges me. That means I no longer feel the fear and second guess everything I say.
• When appropriate, I ask people - especially other men - how they’re doing and gently push for a genuine answer. No one’s reacted negatively to that, so far.
• With my kids, I simply do the opposite to my father. I tell them I love them, I take an interest in them, and I take their feelings seriously. I don’t coddle them, but I want them to feel secure and confident in talking to me. They’re still young, so we’ll see.
• During work 1:1s, I take a genuine interest in people, most will subtly drop hints that they had a bad weekend or are feeling tired or stressed. I used to gloss over that, now I’ll ask about it and say I’m happy to listen. A surprising number will go on to share, with the bonus that it builds trust.
• If someone asks how I am, I won’t lay it all out for them, but I’ll be honest. Most people empathise and tell you they’ve been through similar. It’s never been awkward, and I’ve found out nearly everyone I know is pretty anxious and is going through difficult stuff.

As an aside, I never watched much porn because I found it so cold and alienating. It’s interesting that you found the opposite. Anyway, I’ll stop there and wish you well!

Fair enough, I’ve been in those situations, that can be tough

Don’t you think most people need to understand shit to move on? If you just ask urgent questions, then take time to digest the meeting and ask those insightful followups in a team chat, it filters out the 75% of the crap you were going to say.

Having a reputation as the guy who prolongs meetings with 25% dumb questions and 25% jokes is not a good thing.

After a couple of bad questions, I’ll either excuse myself, suggest we carry on separately, or (ideally) ask to be sent a list, for me to ignore at my leisure.

Sorry Greg, we’re not here to answer your dumbass questions, or indulge your hypothetical edge cases.

Am I missing something, or would basically any old smartphone work in place of this? I have a Pixel which sits in a cradle and takes care of anything I’d use this for. I guess a physical button or dial might be nice, but I have a volume dial on the car dash.

Seems plainly obvious that it’ll require a sub. It’s a Spotify box.

It’s the least offensive type of advertising I see day to day. I couldn’t care less how my listening data is shared, and I don’t understand the zero tolerance some people have for adverts - it’s not all bad.

If they ramp up the adverts, people will vote with their feet.

I’ve been cutting my own for years, never considered using a taper guard. Hmm.

Same here. WTF do I do with a history degree… Joined a helpdesk because I liked fixing tech, transitioned to web development because that was more fun, spent years enjoying learning and progressing, then moved into UX because that was more rewarding (and less stressful).

I’m glad I gravitated towards IT because it gave me a lot of freedom and choice - and the money was always good.

I’d be careful with the “follow your hobbies” advice, I’ve known a lot of frustrated people who feel they’ve wasted years studying / trying to get a job in video games, acting, that sort of thing. Seems you have to be in the top 1% and have a ton of luck or connections to stand a chance.

Changing career paths in my 30s (less stress, more money), getting a divorce (not staying in an unhealthy relationship), having kids (gives me a lot of purpose), paying down my mortgage (financial freedom)

It’s been amazing value for me - I’d spent a decade away from video games outside of Nintendo, so I had a giant backlog - I’ve played over 100 in the last 12 months on my Series X.

However, I’m noticing diminishing returns, since I’m spending a lot of time on games like Mass Effect, which are cheap to buy. There’s also a lot of games in genres I don’t like e.g JRPG, fighting, sports, and also plainly bad games.

The balance of good new games vs ones leaving the service is pretty poor, too. If I wasn’t locked into another year, I’d drop it for a while.

TLDR - look at the catalogue, work out how much it would cost to buy the games you’d play, and then decide.

I agree, ghosting is necessary in many situations. Am a guy, have reluctantly ghosted both men and women (from a casual friend / professional point of view, rather than romantic) not because I think I’ll be yelled at (or worse) but if the vibe is wrong, it’s self protection - I don’t want to engage with them, full stop.

Seems more like Lemmy users are building up a mythology. “I was there in the early days. Remember poop and beans?”

I’ve done my duty on the Play Store. Currently a 3.6 average.

I did just install it for a quick try and holy hell it’s a piece of shit. Begone.