Agreed. First playthrough should 100% be vanilla. I do mod a few things on subsequent playthroughs though. Personally I like to give myself infinite paragon/renegade (through a save editor), because I like being able pick a renegade option when I think my Shepard would do that, without having to worry about maxing my paragon for important choices. I also prefer playing biotic classes because they’re more fun, but want a sniper rifle, so I mess with the save to give sniper rifle competency to my class in ME1. Finally I’m trying the happy ending mod this playthrough to see if I like it.
Geez no wonder you’re in a bit of a funk. It’s terrible having to moderate friends in general, and that’s a messy situation that will only lead to misunderstanding when done over text. Hope you take some time for you and check in with yourself.