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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: June 17th, 2023

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  • The only time i tried online dating apps to the point of actually talking to another human i met a young woman and we exchanged a few messages then arranged a phone call. On the phone she wouldn’t stop talking. It was pretty amazing, this flood of words pouring from her. I supposed it was because she was nervous, but still - being pretty pessimistic about the whole online dating thing to begin with - figured this would never work out because her non-stop talking was starting to weird me out a little. Not in a terrible way, just a little.

    Anyway, she was going on and on about her job but was carefully avoiding any details that might identify where she worked, i guess so as to stay safe by not revealing too many personal details to a stranger. Somehow, though, I figured it out. She told me what area of the city she lived in, and i got enough details about the kind of work she did that i said something like: “Oh, you work at the Goodwill on blahblah street” and then there was dead silence. The flood of words stopped. We hung up soon after that. I felt really cool about guessing her workplace, like a detective, thinking i’d impressed her with my mind, but it wasn’t until years later that it dawned on me that i’d weirded her out even more than she weirded me out. A double oblivious weird out.







  • I agree with this post. Move on and build your life your way.

    I’d like to add, in case it’s helpful, from my own experience the thinking about it never ends. My dad passed 40 years ago and i still have the same thoughts, feelings, arguments even (a little more one-sided now that he’s gone, though). I mean the dynamic might last forever, but you can separate that emotional internal dynamic from how you live your life. And there’s a kind of “this stops here” effect, because your own children will never have to deal with all that stuff, because you dealt with it and moved on. That’s something to be proud of.