The Gonk - Herbert Chappell

Those ghouls don’t deserve beans

Be a chap and pass me a cold Marmite, would you?

You went to a Constrictive Ball Torsion appointment rather than your Cognitive Behavioural Therapy appointment.

That person asked in 1998 and is still compiling Slackware

It’s the European name for truck nuts

Jokes on them, I grew up playing “Frontier: Elite II” on an stock Amiga 500. My reactions peak at 0.6FPS! 🎖️

Don’t ever message me again you piece of sh17.

Putting a layer just inside your nostrils to catch pollen and help with hayfever

You found the recipe? I’m still reading about how the recipe reminds them of warm summer evenings walking along the banks of the river, shortly after they adopted their rescue pup but before the birth of their first child. I’m sure the ingredients list will turn up soon.

Me personally? No.

The drones can remain airborne for about eight minutes on a single battery charge

1. Hear drone
2. Hide for 8 minutes
3. Drone evaded

This is the first I’m heading of this ‘Nord Loneliness Epidemic’

I toyed with the reverse scenario: Lt Dan taking Forrest and Jenny to meet the Shrimp Nazi

Jerry: She literally said, “life is like a box of chocolates”?
George: Yes, she said, “you never know what you’re gonna get.”
Jerry: “Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re gonna get”?
George: Word for word.
Jerry: They have a card in them…
George: They have a menu.
Jerry: Right, the little menu card! So you know exactly what you’re getting.
George: I told her that.
Jerry: So what did you do?
George: I took that box of chocolates and I ran to the end of the road. And when I got there, I thought maybe I’d run to the end of town. And when I got there, I thought maybe I’d just run across the Upper West Side. And I figured, since I run this far, maybe I’d just run across Manhattan. And that’s what I did. I ran clear across Manhattan. For no particular reason I just kept on going.

Weiner touching porcelain:
hot dog on a fancy plate ✅
sitting down to pee 🤢

In retaliation I now post notice that from today Sony does not own the money I transfer to them in exchange for goods or services. They have a limited, time bound, non-exclusive license to those funds which may be revoked by me at any time. By accepting my money, Sony also agrees to mandatory arbitration overseen by my 10 year old cat.

Being silently judged by the can before I even get my hand into it 👀

Is he claiming that he predates the Ford Model T?