One time like 10 years ago I was at a party and my crush was there. It was a bunch of musicians and basically everyone was smoking weed, but she was one of maybe 3 drunk people there. She was slurring her words, falling down drunk and no one was helping her.

She slurred out “I need to go to the b***room…” So I thought she either needs to go to the “bathroom” because she’s gonna be sick, or the “bedroom” because she’s gonna pass out and it’s her friend’s house. I help her back to the hallway - bedroom’s one side, bathroom is the other - and she pulls me toward the bedroom.

Now this girl was blasted… There’s no way I’m gonna try anything. I just wanna get her to a place where she won’t fall and break her face or drown in her own vomit.

I helped her to the bed and turn to leave and she grabs my leg…

Her: “Come on…” Me: “come on, what?” Her: “do your thing… Do your stuff” Me: “What stuff?”

(She sits up)

Her: “you… And me…” (Wildly smashes hands together) Me: “yeah… That doesn’t seem like a good idea” Her (still slurring her words): “come ooonnnn, I’m not that drunk” Me: “Tell you what. If you give me three coherent sentences so I know the lights are on, and I will fuck you into next weekend.” Her (eyes rolling in opposite directions): “buh… Gahnt… Ack…lep” Me: “ok. Good night. I’ll let Friend know you’re back here”

I go to walk away and she grabs me again.

Her (suddenly lucid and making eye contact with perfect speech): It’s now or never dude. Me: “Well in that case it’s never.”

So I walked away, because I don’t need that kinda mindfuck.

I’m happily married to someone with the same first name.

Drunk girl died of cancer.

Yes. All those childhood bullies grow up and get jobs. Many in middle management, where they can bully yo their heart’s content

Strive for independence with every fiber of your being. Your family that you live with doesn’t love you.

That’s why they’re dicks to you. They lie and tell you it’s “for your own good” or some other bullshit. But really they’re afraid to admit that they don’t know how to love you… They may not know how to love anyone.

Being grounded for 2/3 of the year every year - when you have no disciplinary or legal troubles - is imprisonment, it is not just punishment. Making you eat vomit is not an important life lesson, it is abuse. A person who openly favors one child over the other doesn’t love any of her children, least of all you.

Your brothers learned to love from someone incapable of loving. That’s why they are indifferent to your suffering. That’s why they only care what you can do for them and feel no obligation to do anything that benefits you.

You can’t snap your fingers and be independent. But it is within your grasp if you reach for it. Reach for it with your entire being.

Your dad is reaching out now because you’re 18 and he doesn’t have to deal with a psycho to get ahold of you anymore. Hold him accountable, but trust his intentions. He’s rusty at relating, but let him show you how much he loves you. And use that to remind you of how much the others don’t.