My comments tend to get way more engagement here than on reddit. People are just friendlier. When I’m funny, they make me feel like the man. On reddit you had to piggy-back on top comments just to get any hits, and half of them were just confrontational for no good reason.

Can’t believe that was his real hair. That’s the haircut of a preacher who beats the life out of his children with a belt.

I imagine having a taught piece of paper firmly pulled out of your gullet also feels great as a printer. Or it feels terrible, like pulling a swallowed hook out of a fish.

Bro, I just bought a Roborock a few weeks ago and I love it. I was panic reading these comments until I saw yours and realized it’s a Roborock, not iRobot. Hope our housebots don’t meet the same fate.

“Oi, Dutchman!”

…

“O hallo!”

She got a stank to her, sure… but she knows her way around a circus peanut.

I’ve been going hard on Stardew Valley. Just had another kid and no good opportunities to play on PC now, so I bought a Backbone controller off of Amazon and turned my phone into a Switch.

See also: Night of the Full Moon, Card Crawl, Tiny Rails, Inotia 3 & 4 (3 isn’t available anymore, but you can get an apk), Talisman: Digital Edition, Dungeon Boss: Respawned (requires Netflix sub now, but no more P2W), Survival Day R.

I have so many memories of my dad driving us up to the corner store, beer in hand, to put $5 in the tank and rent us Megaman 4.

Cheesing is a state of mental euphoria which is triggered by sniffing a cat’s urine. One common method involves positioning one’s face behind a cat.

Down to da beeaach I’m strollin’!

https://youtu.be/U9t-slLl30E?

Years back when I worked for Kmart, there was some sort of large Samsung Galaxy tablet advertised as a Black Friday front-page exclusive for only $40. As you can imagine, people were ready to kick the fucking doors down to get their hands on those, because anyone dumb enough to participate in the Black Friday madness is definitely too dumb to know why 1gb non-expandable storage is next to fucking worthless. Not to mention they had the weakest hardware imaginable, with a whopping 1.5 MP camera.

Black Friday is such a cheap illusion.

The number gets higher and higher every time a console dweeb makes the argument that they’re not constantly fucking themselves.

It’s a nice one, too. It makes the room feel like it’s full of music. Presidents only get the best braiders.

I don’t know if this will age like my previous belief that PS1 had photo-realistic graphics, but I feel like 4k is the peak for TVs. I recently bought a 65" 4k TV and not only is it the clearest image I’ve ever seen, but it takes up a good chunk of my livingroom. Any larger would just look ridiculous.

Unless the average person starts using abandoned cathedrals as their livingrooms, I don’t see how larger TVs with even higher definition would even be practical. Especially if you consider we already have 8k for those who do use cathedral entertainment systems.

Well, you could always move to DC. I hear that runny orange cum dribbles freely down the chins of the proud Republicans there.

I just have a massive list of movies and shows I want to watch, and I run it by my wife. She usually just tells me to pick one. Then the burden is mine again.

It is kind of wild. Some dudes have small dicks, big dicks, egg-shaped dicks… Stinky dicks with moles on them… Fat dicks with freckles… Dicks that look like sad elephants… Dicks that look like Shar Peis…

Then you have big vaginas, small vaginas, long vaginas, sleeve of wizard vaginas, jutting serrated-looking labia vaginas, wise old horse-like vaginas, cauliflower vaginas, meat pile vaginas, vaginas that look like Shar Peis…

And any of these… And I mean any of them… can be on the hottest person you’ve seen in your life. It’s like opening a Kinder Egg. Drop in a coin, pull the lever, and see what surprises await you in the dankest, steamiest, most razor-burnt region inside of your new partner’s pants.

I wish I could partake in nap culture, but I always wake up feeling like I’ve been ripped from the goddamn afterlife. Always worse than before. My wife and I just spent two grueling sleepless nights in the postpartum ward, and after returning home today she encouraged me to have a 1-hour nap. I obliged and woke up so fucking brain-sick out of sorts that I could barely interact with my surroundings for the first 30 minutes.

Same. 7-3:30 most days. Some an hour or two earlier. I always crash out after lunch, or guaranteed by 1:30. At that point I’m just walking around trying to find shit to do.