Ok, I’ve had a proper read through now, I’ll admit there is a lot to process, but this a lot of sense (and some bits I was already doing without even realising, like trying to get space away from triggers).
I think my situation is tricky because the main person triggering me is my nibling, whose family I live with (I’ve been here since they were born and I’m often left to care for them during the day. Cuddling and playing and just spending hours on the couch watching cartoons with them used to be my escape, but for the past couple of months external stress has gotten worse, and after they “pushed me” on a really bad day and that brain switch has flipped, every time they want to be around me I feel like they’re “pushing me” and fight/flight which is the constant state of my autistic brain anyway, ramps up even more), so I can’t get away from them for any decent length of time, and they’re just a kid and it’s difficult to explain my growing boundaries (every time one gets crossed, by “hostile” or “friendly”, rationally I can tell the difference but irrationally they both have the same impact - a stricter boundary can’t help but pop up in its place, in self defence) and why I need them to stay away from me (or, if they keep “pushing”, why I’m suddenly horrible to them even though they don’t deserve it).
I don’t want to push them away, I rationally know they mean no harm and just want to give and be given love, but I also just need my boundaries respected.
The one thing I have avoided doing is reminiscing about good times because it makes me too upset that I’ve gone from that to this and I spiral in to a really dark place, but I do see how it might help, so I’m going to try my best to try it. I think some of the other advice is a little tricky for someone with sensory processing difficulties though).
Anyway, I won’t ramble any longer, thank you again, I’ve not actually talked about this to anyone else, and I feel like this exchange is a good first step to at least try and fix things.
I do wish I could find a descent therapist though… -_-
Sky: Children of the Light
You get to run/fly/swim/dive around and explore several mostly chill realms, helping out “spirits” and collecting light (one kind for currency, another to increase flying ability), and optionally interacting and cooperating with friendly randoms from around the world. There is a story to it which I won’t spoil, but there is always more to do even after playing through it.
There are zero ads.
There are some optional transactions, but they aren’t pushed constantly (there are changing “seasons”, and you can buy a pass for each one which will give you access to special cosmetics and the in game currency to buy them with, but there is plenty to collect without it).
Seasons also repeat (not exactly as they were, but the spirits from them return and their items become available again) so if you missed something the first time around because you didn’t have enough in game currency, or you took a break from the game, you’ll get another chance at it (I also think items that were initially only available with the pass you buy for real money, later become available for in game currency).
Keeping that in mind, you can grind as much or as little as you like, and there is also a limit to how much currency you can collect a day, so there’s only so much grinding you can do if you are so inclined. If you’re not that bothered about buying all the items, you can take a really relaxed approach and just play through the tasks and explore at your own pace (even learn how to play an instrument lol).
The first time I played it a few years back, I didn’t really “get” the game, or think to look up any information about it, so was just randomly flying around and getting confused and frustrated when things were a little less chill at points, so I quit. But a few months ago I decided to give it a second chance and having actually taken the time to understand what is going on in the game, this time around I’m enjoying it a lot more.