Damn it, now we have Doomsday fish AIDS. I hope you’re happy now oceangoers.

I am still holding out that they dropped the 15 federal indictments so he would be emboldened and hang himself with all the rope they gave him.

I live in Texas, we had a big beautiful St. Augustin yard. Thick, green, very nice. 3 years ago I quit watering it. Last year I seeded it with a mix of Buffalo Grass, Curly Mesquite Grass, and Blue Gamma. It’s almost taken over. It uses zero water, I only mowed it once the year before and twice this year because we got a boatload of rain this year unlike the year before. I stopped mowing the backyard and just removed all the wax and China berry shoots. I have all sorts of native flowers and Chili Pequin plants all over the place. The flowers are great and the birds are everywhere. Best decision I have made since I got this place.

Women are for reproduction use only. Men can fuck couches and dress up like women but their place is out in the world. Doing the tough jobs like I did when I was a US Marine, risking my life to write press releases and enjoy it in the rear, hahaha, that’s what she said. I am not weird, you’re weird. When a woman can no longer produce babies and her womb has dried up she should devote her time to raising the children of her husband’s young new baby machi…I mean grandchildren. In conclusion, Donny said I could say the n-word any time I want if he gets elected and he would also buy me a nice new sexy suede couch and he promised not to deport my brown wife and our Italian-level white children." - James David “My Preferred Name Is JD” Vance

Elon is like that greasy kid in high school who would correct the History teacher with facts he learned by posting on /pol/. “Actually, the slaves loved being slaves because they got free housing and healthcare.”

Can someone please line his shit ass up against the wall already?

I miss it, the little dude will be 26 going on 30 next year.

Edit: I hit send before I finished editing it.

If that little dude is as stoked about Pikachu as my dude was about Ninja Turtles then I feel his frustration. My dude one time spent an entire 5-hour car ride talking about Master Splinter. If I could have left him on the side of the road in New Mexico without his mother killing me, I would have lol.

I’ll tell you what: I may have fucked my life up flatter than hammered shit, but I stand here before you today beholden to no human cocksucker