PrimeErective

Personal is crazy

Damn, I gotta get one of those negative mortgages

What specific date do you need? The universe was created last Thursday

I think what’s going on with the “torment matrix” problem is that the people who do the most heinous shit don’t usually have much imagination. When they see someone dreaming up a horrible scenario they see it as an unironic opportunity. Maybe they wouldn’t have thought of it otherwise.

More succinctly: don’t give them any ideas!

I don’t think Star Wars is about a girl who fucking knows

Maybe it got hit by a car and the “other side” is the afterlife

Got any grapes?

I see you’ve played knifey spoony before

I have states, Greg. Can you compute on me?

Brylcreem

Creatine

And a bag of Charlie Sheen

That’s fun. Orexi is Greek for appetite, and appetite is definitely a type of motivation

Kali orexi!

Was that the one with the quick reload battery slot, or was that the v10? Either way those phones were sick

Why would you want whirled peas?

Eagle River?!

Isn’t it because it’s pronounced “pan”?

This is the kind of Internet censorship I can get behind. Unfortunately I can still read the name of the store though

Once you see them, they can see you

TARANTULA

Falafel makes your farts smelafel