Public beheading is the more metal option. Someone could take shots of my head and body right after the fact and turn them into a cool album cover, like what Mayhem did with Dead’s body after his suicide for the The Dawn of the Black Hearts bootleg.

I remember being a kid and feeling so proud that I had U.S. citizenship in addition to my Saudi one (my mom wanted to give birth in Los Angeles at Cedars-Sinai), because it meant I had access to a “free” country compared to my native Saudi Arabia. I never actually lived in the U.S., and I would absolutely never live there now, lol. Who knew that, after a while, both of my passports would belong to authoritarian countries? I moved to Amsterdam three years ago for my bachelor’s studies, and now I’m in Copenhagen for my master’s. At this point, I honestly wouldn’t want to live anywhere except Europe.

I’d describe myself as an ethical libertine or hedonist, if that makes sense. If I want something, I buy it because it makes me feel good, and that’s reason enough for me; I never feel guilty about spending money or even about indulgence. At the same time, material things don’t really mean anything to me, and I don’t think they define a person’s worth. For example, I was traveling with a friend once and went into a store while he waited outside. He was approached by a group of bullies, and when I came out, I resolved the situation by giving them my shoes and my watch. I went back to our hotel barefoot and didn’t care at all about what I’d lost, as long as my friend was safe.

Just fornicating. I’m young, I want variety, and I’m enjoying myself.

Purity culture combined with fertility expectations frames older women as low value, damaged or “used goods.” For example, my parents believe the ideal age gap is five years, with the man being older, and that couples should marry in their twenties.

My Saudi parents back home think I’m a good Muslim young man. Meanwhile, I’m in Europe having adventures with women old enough to be my mom, among other things; so I’d rather not dishonor the family just yet.