Southern drawl versus text-to-speech. Bedazzle of the scent tree.

So nice. My giardiasis just finished blooming, the whole yard smelled of it.

I think it’s more than half, and I think the other half just touches themselves in private areas too taboo to mention on a Christian oriented site like Lemmy. Let’s just say, stay away from the devil’ jewels kiddos.

First they told us not to eat the yellow snow, now they’re telling us not to stick spring rolls up our poop chutes. It’s like doctors don’t want us to find any joy in our lives.

First they invented great barrier reef, now they make great barrier ointment. My God what horrors and highlights, the hubris of humankind.

ONLY CHILDREN NEED NOT APPLY

I completely understand.

I spent a semester of college working at Home Depot. It was a terrible experience and awful in so many different ways that I consider it my second worst job experience, only slightly behind the holier than thou “Christian business” that didn’t pay its employees and actively committed fraud against employees, clients, and the government. 25+ years later, I still don’t like to shop at Home Depot, it was so bad.

Those are pretty ladies and cute outfits! Hope they drink sufficient amounts of water and stay hydrated, else time may not be kind to their skin.

World War 3D

That’s the general consensus in my social circle as well. It’s not fooling anybody, but we appreciate it for what it is. Fishham with shellfish flavoring.

To err is human, to go get is feline.

When I was watching the news last night, they did the thing where they said something like “COMING UP. Major news tonight involving Dolly Parton. KEEP WATCHING AFTER THE BREAK.” and then those bitches went to commercial.

My heart sank because I was worried they were going to report something tragic like a terminal cancer diagnosis. Fortunately, I have access to thousands of news sources instantly so I did in fact not keep watching and instead just looked it up.

Anyway, good for her!

Yes, but it can only be transmitted purrposely.

Mom: Honey, we have ninja turtles at home you can watch any time you want, we don’t need to go see the movie.

You’ve heard of ennui, but have you met felennui?

Enjoy a burger how you want, or not, I could hardly care any less as long as you’re not hurting anybody with your lifestyle choice.

Personally, I just don’t like cooked pineapple very much. It’s a pale imitation of fresh in both taste and texture. Pure disappointment, and I’ve got enough disappointment in my life already, don’t need anymore on my pizza or burger or tacos or spaghetti or upside down cake or colada.

Thought you were going to say “in the butt”, but then you said “In HELL.” and I assume you don’t refer to the butt as hell. Right?

Ass, ass, or ass, no one rides for free.

It’s a mineral, Gurk.

Did anyone else get in school suspension?

Yes, though my memory of it is kind of limited all these years later.

It was a case of collective punishment. At least that third and final time the bus was late, it was because a number of the kids on the same route took too long to get on the bus and get settled, which caused us to be late. Some kids would wait to leave their house until they saw the bus or heard the horn beep. So, I guess they decided to punish everyone, for reasons.

I don’t even think it was literally everybody that rode the bus, because some of the kids’ parents would/could drop them off at school any time the bus was late or not running. But that wasn’t an option for me.