“LOOK AT ME CORPORATE DADDY! I STILL LOVE YOU! YOU CAN STEP ON THIS SNEK!”

-finitebanjo

You’re all over this thread, deepthroating the proverbial boot. Keep it up, but just know that no matter how much you lick and love that little foot glove, it won’t love you back.

“Hey Ross, when you were yelling ‘piv-AT piv-AT,’ what did you mean?”

Fuckin’ A.

I ask “why” every time I’m reminded Imagine Dragons exist, too.

Full-on mask off, now. Owner class protecting owner class, nothing to see here. These aren’t the droids you’re looking for. Move along.

Yes, it is.

I used to think it was just a movie that happened during Christmas, but it wasn’t a Christmas movie. I changed my mind when it was pointed out that the movie wouldn’t have happened if it wasn’t Christmas. He was visiting his family for Christmas. It’s not a typical Christmas movie, but it is a Christmas movie.

My $.02

Add in hysterical, blood-vessel-throbbing shrieks at the person in front, and you’ve just described my mom’s driving. It’s terrifying to ride anywhere with her.

I used to work in a pizza place, and the head cook was from Mexico working on his citizenship. He helped me with my Spanish, and I’d help him with his English. One day, we discovered that jokes was a good way to discover any loss in translations, so jokes became our preferred method of conversation.

One day he said he’s got a great joke, but he’s not sure if it’ll work in English, so he’s asks to tell me if it works. I tell him to hit me. The joke:

A guy and his girlfriend have been together long enough to move in with each other. Being a new(ish) couple, they’re still pretty frisky. Every time they’re finished and basking in the after glow, she plays with his junk, just gently kneading the balls in their sack. After a few months, he asks her why does she always play with his balls afterwards. She looks him dead in the eye with a Mona Lisa smile, gently kisses his lips and whispers in his ear “because i miss mine.”

He asked if the joke works in English. When i quit laughing, i said it does. That was 2006, and it’s still one of my favorite jokes to this day.

You still here? You’re not living in a DE-lux apartment in the sky yet?

cough cough “Born Again” cough cough

Isn’t God infallible? So, how did he fuck you up the first time? Gotta take a mulligan? Sounds legit.

I’m pretty sure bubonic plague isn’t noticing, either.

Now now, I’m sure the constant screaming of the sacrifice children at the annual Pot Luck/Sacrifice Orgy had an effect, too.

And when they are they’re so stuffed full of pork that to vote for healthcare you also have to vote for having your bones ground for tomorrow’s bread.

Was that the rally cry at Uvalde, too? How anyone can rust the fucking cops after that display is beyond me.

Don’t worry. Just like every other bootlicker on the Internet, the PTB have seen their loyalty, and shall lift them on high to live out their halcyon days in Valhalla.

So, the police are sharing their behind-the-scenes “evidence” with you to achieve said scrutiny, yes? Can i see…?

Why? They have the entire media apparatus to whitewash their narrative, and a bunch of idiots believing it, despite how flimsy their super convenient evidence is.

Jesus fuck, this is what Disney did to people’s minds. You’ll believe anything, as long as it ends with “…and they all lived happy ever after.”

“Stay the fuck away from the brown acid…!”