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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: August 6th, 2023

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  • Okay, this post is only an hour old but it already has a ton of replies. I reallly hope you see this, though. I’m going to GBF you for just a couple of minutes.

    First of all - girl, seriously? 40 year olds go out all the time for drinks. You should try going out with friends so you can keep an eye on each other, but every bar go to is filled with people our age. I’m ten years older than you, and I in no way feel like an old man in a bar. If you have a next day recovery concern, just limit yourself, or go on the weekends. Just make sure you’re taking an Uber and if you’re doing solo yolo let a friend know where you’re going and let them track your phone or something.

    Second, apps can be toxic but they can also be gamed. You’re looking for a silver fox type, maybe with a bit of a dad bod is my guess. Put out for some headshots or other pro photos. There’s even a lot of amateur photographers who you might be able to find on insta who would be happy to do a quick session for a modest amount of money. Do yourself a favor and get a serious makeover and some new outfits first, because it will make you feel like your best self.

    Third, it’s okay to just be looking to get dicked down even while looking for something serious. Don’t hang everything on finding your next life partner if you really are just craving physical affection.

    There are tons of 40+ men who are single due to similar circumstances to yours. They’re at bars, and they go to concerts at local venues. They’re probably not going to be at the clubs the 20-something’s go to, but they have their own territories.

    It really sounds like you have to see yourself as your best self, and up your game with that confidence.



  • I’d feel like you could get better advice if you give more details, and maybe ask about LGBT friendly cities in some of the LGBT communities.

    ABQ isn’t bad, but it’s not homeless friendly, and it gets cold in the winter. You could live outside of Albuquerque in the east mountains for relatively cheap but would need a vehicle to get into town.

    But seriously, there’s more going on there that I think you might be able to use advice on.







  • Yeah, this statement is simply wrong. Men unconsciously notice a lot of things, and they might deny noticing even obvious ones because any acknowledgement of fashion is considered effeminate by some men.

    I love the drag queen lashes that are so long they’ll take out the person next to you if you turn your head too fast.








  • Not to say that it’s not good to self-reflect and improve, and not to say that there’s nothing you can improve, but there might be other factors at play.

    I don’t have the numbers to hand, but going off of my own experience and my memory, younger people are far more likely to leave a job than older people. You can try to find the stats - I’m sure they vary by country, for instance, but I changed jobs relatively often early in my career. As my career progressed (and changed from industry to industry), I tended to stay longer.

    Basically, what you want to do is establish the baseline. Is it a you thing, is it a company thing, an industry thing, or just the natural process? It might be a mix, but until you know what you’re dealing with, it’s going to be hard to fix it.


  • You are the problem. The right wing nut jobs are in charge because chucklefucks like you can’t be fucked to give a good goddamn about anything outside of a narrow view in which you’re the goddamned misunderstood oppressed motherfuckers. You’re the “stop making race an issue” crowd. You’re the “women have the same rights as men now and should shut up” crowd.

    I hate to break it to you, and I know you’re not going to hear it. You’re the person Martin Luther King was talking about in his Letter from Birmingham Jail. At the time, there was a “call to unity.” There was a perception that black Americans shouldn’t be protesting. That they should wait for the changes they want to just happen naturally. That if they stopped making such a fuss about equality, it’s just happen. Let me give you some quotes, in case it’s been awhile since you’ve studied it.

    “Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. We are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly … Anyone who lives inside the United States can never be considered an outsider anywhere within its bounds.”

    I must confess that over the past few years I have been gravely disappointed with the white moderate. I have almost reached the regrettable conclusion that the Negro’s great stumbling block in his stride toward freedom is not the White Citizen’s Counciler or the Ku Klux Klanner, but the white moderate, who is more devoted to “order” than to justice; who prefers a negative peace which is the absence of tension to a positive peace which is the presence of justice; who constantly says: “I agree with you in the goal you seek, but I cannot agree with your methods of direct action”; who paternalistically believes he can set the timetable for another man’s freedom; who lives by a mythical concept of time and who constantly advises the Negro to wait for a “more convenient season.” Shallow understanding from people of good will is more frustrating than absolute misunderstanding from people of ill will. Lukewarm acceptance is much more bewildering than outright rejection.

    You not only have a shallow understanding - your understanding is deliberately shallow and you revel in it as if it gives you some kind of intellectual validity. It does not.

    And the first PC I built myself out of the parts I saved up for was a 286, bitch. The first game I played was on a Bell Labs Vax on an actual teletype using a coupler with a rotary phone.

    It’s okay to be a nerd. We make shitloads of money and people are interested in what we say. You don’t need to be a dickweed.