Err, no? At what point did I claim to be an expert?

It doesn’t take a genius to realise that serving 100-record chunks of a billion record dataset using limit 100 offset 582760200 is never gonna perform well

Or that converting indexed time columns to strings and doing string comparisons on them makes every query perform an entire table scan, which is obvious if you actually take the time to look at the query plan (spoiler: they don’t)

“Why can’t the system handle more than 2 queries per second? This database sucks”