There are some moments in life in which a sudden self-awareness of happiness hits - a moment in which you step back from yourself and realize that, in that instant, everything is good. A feeling of your consciousness pulling away to make an emotional snapshot of that moment to care for and examine like one would a wounded bird or a nugget of gold.

While I don’t consider my life as a unhappy one, I only have a few of these moments guarded away. The first being at around age 6. My parents were giving me a group hug while we were all singing a family lullaby. My mother was expecting my baby brother at the time and that was the first time the baby’s name was included in the song. I remember feeling detached and floating away while taking in the moment.

The last time I experienced it I had just finished changing the sheets on a new king bed I splurged on after a small windfall. I remember laying on the bedspread and my 2yr old pup hopping on to play around the newly made bed. Instead of ushering him off as I usually did, I just watched him mess up the bedspread.

(I know happiness is not a fixed concept and everyone can have their own definition and experiences, but given my ignorance of the specific word to refer to the instant moment of self-awareness described, I just went with it)

Curious to read your thoughts and experiences.

  • CaptPretentious@lemmy.world
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    13 hours ago

    ~Oct 10, 2021 to about ~Nov 26, 2021.

    For a short time, thought I was going to be a dad. Was finally happy again. Torn away when I figured out the only reason she wanted to have kids with me was so I could bank roll her. I was just an ATM.

    Before that, maybe around 2004-2007. Was in college, in what I thought was a happy relationship, had friends, genuinely looked forward to each day. I had goals and dreams. I smiled because I wanted to, not because it’s what people expected.