It was ~2003 and I had spent the summer working to get an eMachine to play Diablo II and Everquest on. My older brother would play on it while I was working, which I was fine with, but then would refuse to get off when I came home. One specific time he was being exceptionally annoying and I had a pack of chocolate covered pretzel rods in my hand I got from work and decided to retaliate. He was so immersed in the game he was leaning forward on the stool I used as a computer chair. You know how jeans will pucker out a bit when you’re sitting and leaning forward?
With the hand of a surgeon I gently slotted a single pretzel rod into the exposed crack of his ass. He didn’t notice at all. How? I have no idea to this day. I laid on my bed and waited for him to notice but 10 minutes passed as the chocolate melted and the pretzel rod integrated itself into my brother ass crack. Every time he moved it slid slightly further. At one point he re-positioned himself on the stool and I heard it break in half and, even then, he was completely unaware.
I started dying laughing because it was so absurd that he didn’t realize and at this point it wasn’t even visible. He asked me why I was laughing and I kept telling him “you wouldn’t believe me if I told you.” He started demanding to know and eventually I said, “you have a chocolate covered pretzel in your ass.” He thought I was just being annoying and talking nonsense but I just kept repeating it between bouts of laughter.
Eventually he got so mad he stood up and I saw the grim realization hit him that he did, indeed, have a chocolate covered pretzel in his ass crack. He was immediately irate and went to chase me but as very few people know it is hard to run with a chocolate covered pretzel slotted like a credit card between your ass cheeks. He yelled for my parents who both ran into the room and I got to see him try and tell them that I had put a chocolate covered pretzel into his ass crack and then them ask the obvious question, “how does someone do that and not realize?”
He had no answers. He had only his impotent rage and a chocolate covered pretzel in his ass crack. I had my computer back and was later beaten, but I knew I had struck a devastating psychological blow that still exists to this day.
Not me but my brother although I was involved.
It was ~2003 and I had spent the summer working to get an eMachine to play Diablo II and Everquest on. My older brother would play on it while I was working, which I was fine with, but then would refuse to get off when I came home. One specific time he was being exceptionally annoying and I had a pack of chocolate covered pretzel rods in my hand I got from work and decided to retaliate. He was so immersed in the game he was leaning forward on the stool I used as a computer chair. You know how jeans will pucker out a bit when you’re sitting and leaning forward?
With the hand of a surgeon I gently slotted a single pretzel rod into the exposed crack of his ass. He didn’t notice at all. How? I have no idea to this day. I laid on my bed and waited for him to notice but 10 minutes passed as the chocolate melted and the pretzel rod integrated itself into my brother ass crack. Every time he moved it slid slightly further. At one point he re-positioned himself on the stool and I heard it break in half and, even then, he was completely unaware.
I started dying laughing because it was so absurd that he didn’t realize and at this point it wasn’t even visible. He asked me why I was laughing and I kept telling him “you wouldn’t believe me if I told you.” He started demanding to know and eventually I said, “you have a chocolate covered pretzel in your ass.” He thought I was just being annoying and talking nonsense but I just kept repeating it between bouts of laughter.
Eventually he got so mad he stood up and I saw the grim realization hit him that he did, indeed, have a chocolate covered pretzel in his ass crack. He was immediately irate and went to chase me but as very few people know it is hard to run with a chocolate covered pretzel slotted like a credit card between your ass cheeks. He yelled for my parents who both ran into the room and I got to see him try and tell them that I had put a chocolate covered pretzel into his ass crack and then them ask the obvious question, “how does someone do that and not realize?”
He had no answers. He had only his impotent rage and a chocolate covered pretzel in his ass crack. I had my computer back and was later beaten, but I knew I had struck a devastating psychological blow that still exists to this day.