JD Vance: Master, I don’t think Austria is a real country. Most probably it is just Australia written with a typo. Drunken Hegseth, you know… This happens.
I don’t know if that would be “Breaking” news. Knowing them it would be more like “After decades of merciless guerllia style warfare in the deserts and cities of Australia, with hundreds of thousands of human lives lost, billions of dollars spent and the world seeing nuclear weapons again used in anger, President Barron Trump has secured a peace deal that requires complete withdrawl of US forces and giving the Emu Kangaroo Government of Australia complete control over the country.”
Trump: Fuck Iran. They could wait. Time to bomb Australia, those ungrateful covfefes of emu kangaroos!
Trump: Lots of concerning things in Austria, kinda named like Australia so we have people looking into that. Sad!
Trump: Have The Rolling Stones killed
JD: But sir, those aren’t…
Trump: DO AS I SAY!
JD Vance: Master, I don’t think Austria is a real country. Most probably it is just Australia written with a typo. Drunken Hegseth, you know… This happens.
Given how all of America’s other wars have gone in recent history I’m pretty sure the emus and kangaroos will dominate the US military.
breaking news: united states loses second emu war
I don’t know if that would be “Breaking” news. Knowing them it would be more like “After decades of merciless guerllia style warfare in the deserts and cities of Australia, with hundreds of thousands of human lives lost, billions of dollars spent and the world seeing nuclear weapons again used in anger, President Barron Trump has secured a peace deal that requires complete withdrawl of US forces and giving the Emu Kangaroo Government of Australia complete control over the country.”