I never like myself, but today I look much worse than usual, even though I haven’t changed anything, the same makeup, the same clothes, however I look at myself in the mirror and look disgusting, and I don’t know why. I hate that I have to work today, I’m waiting for the working day to end to go home as soon as possible, my mood is so terrible, I don’t want anyone to see my face so damn much. But i just don’t understand what the problem is. When I was in school, I preferred to skip classes on days like this.

  • iltoroargento@lemmy.sdf.org
    4·
    10 hours ago

    I often felt this way in school, through grad school, as well. For me, it would be a bad hair day or just waking up not feeling great about myself and I’d basically just color the whole day in the shitty mood I woke up in and I basically gave up on the day

    Definitely a your mileage may vary kind of thing, but for me it was pretty much impossible to reframe my day when I got into that mindset.

    I also think being in an environment where I, consciously or unconsciously, felt a need/want to look good to other people (highschool and law school were very like this for me) would put me in that mindset.

    I eventually addressed these feelings through a lot of self work and help from a good therapist, but I think age and confidence also played a role/were intertwined in this for me.

    Eventually, I didn’t care so much about how I appeared to most others, told my pretentious law job to kick rocks, and became a teacher. I’ve developed even tougher skin through that profession because kids are both freaking hilarious and remarkably brutal. Any form of pretense or GAF kind of energy will be detrimental to honest interactions and teaching in general, so when the kids learn that I’m just here to help them learn and don’t care about clout/drama, it really helps tear down some walls.

    Idk, kinda went on a bit there, but basically a lot of what I experienced was due to me caring about how I was perceived and if it wasn’t perfect in my eyes, I gave up. Once I started focusing on honest interactions with others, and moved into a career/life trajectory that supported that focus, I kind of moved away from being so hard on myself.

    Some or none of this may apply to you, but I hope this helps a bit and if you’re asking these kinds of “why” questions, you’re already on a good track.