I think that stance only really holds when talking about arguments where you can’t reasonably convince the other person. Like, I’d be frustrated if my wife was conceding arguments just to make me happy, I don’t want to stay wrong. But I have had the thought when coming down of “why is it that I’m always the unreasonable one”, and given that I was coming down from an argument it was not charitably toned.

Being right or happy is more about someone being in the wrong. If you think it’s normal to wear shoes in the house and your partner doesn’t, it doesn’t matter that your area is largely pro shoe in home, if it matters to your partner the wise choice is to accept that their happiness with the situation is more important to you than winning the fight or even getting to keep wearing shoes at home.

When you have a partner like the librarian you also often have to ask if you want to win or be right. And if the answer is win you need to really ask yourself why, because if your partner is right and you’d still rather win, something is wrong. Hopefully it’s that you’re like me and needed some maturity and to learn to express needs before they show up in an unrelated argument.