This is a kinda embrassing question to ask so pls don’t judge.
I did have moments where I like… went to the local library alone, or like an all day school trip or something…
But I never really like… explored outside alone… especially far from home…
So like… I feel scared about the idea of like… just going for a walk all by myself…
I realize I’ve always just asked parents to drive me somewhere so I never got a chance to just get in the habit of being by myself.
I don’t have a driver’s license so I don’t really have like a car to “retreat to”, if you know what I mean, like as in sort of “castle”.
How do I even “feel safe” just being outside on my own? For context I’m non-white so it’s… kinda intimidating… especially in the current context of US political atmosphere.
I don’t think I have autism, I can talk to my peers just fine, I just have separation anxiety because… idk I just never had to chance to be out in the world alone, like truely alone without a parent nearby.
OCD… probably… germophobia probably caused by my highschool looking very unsanitary and just Covid that sort of “flipped a switch” in my brain, constantly aware of all the “contaminations” around me.
It helps to think of getting sick as the price you pay for boosting your immune system.
I think I had trouble breathing after getting covid…
maybe its a placebo/nocebo, maybe I have long covid / lung damage…
idk
I boosted my percentage of the run complete… (100% is the life span, and covid sped through it…)
I also don’t have autism but do have OCD. Although my psychiatrist did say I met the threashold for a formal diagnosis for autism but I declined.
Also OCD is way way more than just germophobia, for me i am a lot more obsessive than I have compulsions. I just to watch so many lectures and read books on body language, but in the end they didn’t really helped me as much as just forcing myself to have more exposure