cross-posted from: https://lemmy.ml/post/38799262

Let me explain what I mean:

radical acceptance: ever think about how your coworkers are morons, your elderly parents have declined beyond recognition and actively work against you and seem to live to ruin every single one of your days, your boss is an insufferable, exploitative ass, your uncle has lung cancer but keeps smoking a pack a day, your teenager daughter is doing drugs because is trendy, just like you did when you were her age? You cannot change how any of those actors in your life behave, people are free to do whatever they want, even to do stupid crap like that. Trying to change any of those actors is futile and guarantees your mental health decreases overtime and they resent you for caring about them. The better but not ideal solution? Radical acceptance. They are what they are, don’t try to change them, accept them how they are. Let them fail.

This was suggested to me while talking about relatives with dementia and other mental illnesses, but I don’t know if I’m stretching the definition too much.

Spineless conformist: if there are things I cannot control nor change, like climate change, lack of a public healthcare system in America, fptp, maga… why even try? I’d be both radical accepting reality while being a spineless conformist.

Where’s do you draw the line?

  • ℕ𝕖𝕞𝕠@slrpnk.net
    3·
    3 days ago

    Caveat: I’m a Stoic, and I think about this in Stoic terms. I’m aware that this may bias my interpretation, and you should be, too.

    You can accept the past without surrending agency in the present or hope for the future. You must accept that your boss has treated you badly, stolen your wages, condescended to you, &c. You don’t have to maintain that pattern, though. You can get a new job. If that’s not an option, you can plan around it, eg. by documenting the wage theft and abuse and sending it up the chain. If that’s not an option either, or doesn’t work, you are free to just not give a shit. You don’t have to engage with it emotionally at all, you can just think about something else while it’s happening and then go about your day. They can step on your neck but they can’t make you accept it. Only you make that choice.