I once got a 0 on an essay for my history class because I forgot to highlight my topic sentences. Meanwhile, another student wrote about goddamed dinosaurs (I swear I’m not making this up!) and aced it.

And this was a fucking gifted-level class in high school, not a remedial exercise in 5-paragraph essay structure. Or so I had thought, anyway.

Burn in Hell, Mrs. Funderburk, you incompetent bitch!