I recently made it to a new country where I’m studying and hopefully will migrate to. It’s been a while since I last talked here and things then were very difficult for me. Thank you for your support then I really needed it. It’s still difficult to be honest but I’ve been doing so much better here. It took me years of seriously looking into and over a year of getting legal stuff lined up and doubling down on savings.
I’ve gone through a divorce and watching multiple good friendships dissolve over long distance. I’ve been fighting with bureaucracy every day, I don’t have a phone plan or internet at my home yet because of it. Without a phone plan I can’t connect to the internet to translate stuff or get directions anywhere when I’m away from the school wifi. I miss my cat but for now he’s being fostered by really good people who love him.
But I’m here, I’m away from the US, I’m making it work every day. I already know a lot of basics about what I’m choosing to study here so I’m spending most of my effort early on building new relationships and helping other students learn. I’m project lead in our current assignment which isn’t something I thought I’d like but I think I’m actually not bad at it. I’m really proud of what I’m doing in part because it’s so difficult for me and I’m pulling it off.
Thank you dad <3
It’s been hard losing so many of my support systems. I always thought I’d make this journey with someone but that ended up not being in the hand I was dealt. In programming there’s a thing called the hill climbing problem where you are trying to get to the highest peak in a data set. Think trying to find the tallest hill in a field. You’re only able to look around your immediate vicinity though. The naive approach is to always just go up from where you are until there is nowhere up left to go. It’s not guaranteed to be the highest hill though since you may be next to a taller one and not realize it. I’ve always thought of this as a good way to think of how I approach my life where I want things to be better for myself but sometimes I have to go down a hill to see if I’m actually next to a taller one. In many ways I was very happy where I was but I also felt I capped out on what I could do, and with going through so many losses at the rate I did I just couldn’t keep a hold on things very well anymore. I think this new hill I’m at the base of is going to be much taller but I have to climb the thing to find out.
Thank you for the kind words they mean a lot. I want to be a positive influence in the world it means a lot you believe in me. Love you too dad