former bed side nurse here on sick leave till the end of the month. I should start my new job away from patients with normal working hours on October 1st.
I feel drained, even though I eat and sleep well, the best I’ve slept in months, my circadian rhythm is that of a normal human being, I can cook, go shopping, I even play some hobbies now.
Nobody yells at me or makes passive aggressive or backhanded remarks for me to hear.
The 1st. of October is a week away and I don’t believe I’ll be a fully functioning human being by then, most probably I’ll ask for a 2 week sick leave extension.
what worked for you to go back to your normal self?
this is the worst. knowing the shitstorm you stepped away from is going to be a shitstorm when you return, and knowing you can’t influence it but know it’s coming means you can’t actually rest.
have been through this extensively. good point.
One of the things that I took from therapy was to stop and really consider how much influence I had over specific outcomes and then dive even more deeply into how much influence I had over specific outcomes at specific points in time.
I might have 85% control over x component of my job generally while I’m physically present. But do I have any control over it at 3AM while I’m at home? No, there’s 0% control and not way to change that, it’s better to save my energy to deal with it in the near future than stressing/ruminating about it right now.
This is a result of 3 rounds of therapy each running about 3 years, one of them including group mindfulness meditation followed by group therapy in addition to individual therapy. It’s not easy, but it is possible. I also strongly believe it’s worth it.