I just had a kid of my own and I’m finding some feelings of resentment towards mom.
Like, there were some times where I didn’t receive the supervision I needed, or where I wasn’t taught certain life skills (because she was so busy with my siblings) and I just can’t imagine letting that happen with my baby.
Did you ever feel this way towards your parents when you had me? If so, how did you deal with it?
Thanks Pop.
I really appreciate this perspective and you’re right. I want to be gracious and humble enough to recognize that the job of parenting may be easier right now than it is later.
I feel resentment now, and it makes me want to process it with her now, but maybe I should wait and see.
Just to clarify, your feelings of resentment are valid no matter what. And you can and should address those feelings. I would just advise that if you want to address the subject with your parents directly, try not to come in too hot. If you have a therapist or someone you trust, maybe run your approach by them first and see if they have any helpful feedback. Best of luck!
Excellent advice. Thank you :)
You said it yourself, some of what you missed out on was because you had siblings. Right now, no matter how exhausted you feel sometimes, you have the luxury of having just one child. Being tag-teamed all night and day by multiple kiddos with different needs can cause confusion beyond belief. You not only get the names wrong, you can’t remember who you taught what, and whether they were too young to really get it but just happened to be there when you were teaching an older child. And even though you love them all enormously, there isn’t always time to give them all the love you feel and they deserve.
Continue to give your child all the love and support you missed out on. And unless your mom was actively bad, don’t burn that bridge because she might actually be helpful, gaining you the time and energy to be the best parent you can be.