kicked out of a church for ripping too much ass is an achievement that might actually get me through the doors of a church to try, ha!

and try to fart louder than you like a good host

there is a non-zero chance we’re blood related lmao

i struggle with lactose and oligosaccharides
yes, i can take an enzyme pill for both
no, it’s not a perfect solution (not in my case at least)

at this point I’m just straight up with people and say “I will burp and fart if I eat this, so it’s your culinary pride or your nose, choose wisely”

me being gassier than the sun is practically a holiday tradition when i visit family. nothing has more milk and onions than Pennsylvania white people cooking lol

I like onions and peppers. They do not like me (understandable 🫩) and exact their fiery indigestive revenge every time I dare eat more of their ranks

me using kde because i cannot for the fuck of me get LXDE or LXQT to play nice with my video card: 🫩

un(der)employed solidarity :(

i had no idea they were able to save it! awesome!!

aside from some new friends of friends, met a really cool gal on the train the other day. she lives in a city where I have a bunch of other friends I try to visit occasionally, so I’m hoping to grab coffee with her next time I’m down there

Spotify, though I’m not thrilled about it.

Until there’s a pirate streaming/download service that recommends similar songs/artists, I don’t think I’ll switch.

RIP Spotube :(

i still see people help others with heavy/unwieldy loads up the subway stairs though. especially if they’re in the way lol

that’s fucking infuriating

I mean, I did sorta try not to be a nuisance with it. At least for large downloads I tried to do those late at night and then unthrottle once they finished

but one night I fell asleep with the throttling left on and then the next morning my landlady knocks on my door with one of my neighbors who’s rather distraught looking, and says “I know this is weird to ask but you’re my granddaughter’s age and she’s good with tech… [neighbor] works from home and can’t get her video calls to connect, can you reset the router for us?”

10 minutes later I’m a “hero” and got to experience a truly deserved level of guilt 🫠

the router admin page was left on default login credentials

i used it to throttle everyone else’s internet when I had large downloads or video calls. I was the horror story

(this is not good neighborly behavior and years later in retrospect i regret it)

What do hardworking lab technicians deserve but rarely get?

happy hangin-stuff-on-vertical-surfaces 😁

in that case I highly recommend also getting the little rubber charging cord holders to grip the bottom of each utensil so when you inevitably fling the cupboard door open in a rush because you forgot the damn bay leaf again, the utensils don’t go swinging about making a ruckus lol

for larger things I use a second sideways hook or cord keeper clip at the side/bottom. these ones:

mitigating small apartment problems one adhesive hook at a time

congrats on the car fix!

i mean we kinda already do. or at least we laugh at the porn aimed at them anyway

About 2 years’ worth of rent (I live in NYC, to give an idea) in credit cards and a similarly large chunk in student loans

I was someone who paid off my balance in full at the end of every month for about 10 years, then bam, COVID, more fuck shit, rent needing to be paid via credit card several months (even more expensive as they take a usually 5% or more fee), and here we are

Spending money. Thorough a combination of a lot of bad luck and a few bad choices, I’m stuck playing credit card musical chairs to keep enough cash for rent and bills. “Ability to buy groceries/toiletries/medical copays/etc.” is functionally a subscription for me. Few years of rice and beans in my future until I can dig myself out… good thing I like beans I guess

The worst I can imagine (aside from housing…) would be the others in Maslow’s pyramid base: air, water, food, clothing.

• Air would be some straight up cyberpunk shit.
• Water/food would also be horrifying. We currently see meal subscriptions as a luxury, but for those without access to a kitchen and/or with disabilities that prevent them from reliably using one… ah fuck that’s dismal.
• Clothing would be fuckin weird. Because such a ridiculous volume of it exists due to fast fashion, I can’t see this happening on Earth in the near future, thankfully.

you can be the mouse fixer of the friend group. trade fixed mice for casseroles and rides to the airport